Many have searched and searched to find the formula for creating the perfect family. There are numerous self help books and blog posts on the subject. Many psychological publications have advise on how to achieve this much desired familial bliss. I’m very pleased to announce that I have found the ideal family whose example we should all follow. I present to you: The Addams Family.
A Beautiful Marriage
If you have ever viewed the marriage of Gomez and Morticia in any of the available forms you will have noticed the intense love between them. It’s clear that they are a shining example of strong love. They are very affectionate with each other in all situations. They are aligned when they parent their children. They support each others desires and fetishes. Each has their own interests and independence and they trust each other completely. Unlike typical sitcom marriages these two never belittle each other or complain about one another to their friends. If anything they only discuss their love and concern for each others well being. And no one has ever accused either member of the pair of straying from the relationship.
Pugsley and Wednesday (and later in the film series Pubert) are some of the luckiest children in entertainment. Their parents give them the love and support they need to be themselves without judgement. They give them rules and boundaries, but sometimes give in because they just want their children to be happy. Both parents are also very involved in their children’s schooling. They attend performances and monitor their readings. In the first episode of the TV series they go to the school and meet with the principle and have the story of Hansel and Gretel removed from the reading list. You may assume that the Brother’s Grimm story would be a favorite of the Addams but they have a very different perspective on the famous tale. They are adamantly against the burning alive of a witch. Which makes sense, witches are people too! Bonus points to Gomez and Morticia for teaching tolerance to the school.
The Addams household includes the core nuclear family as many average American households do. It also includes extended family members which is less commonly found in the US. Grandmama is a beloved mother of either Gomez or Morticia, it is never made clear. Despite not knowing exactly how she’s related she is still loved and given a home. She is respected regardless of her eccentricities and unusual cooking style and not treated as a burden or just some crazy old lady.
Uncle Fester is just as eccentric as anyone else in the clan. Many people would judge an unmarried grown man living with his younger brother’s family and (maybe) his mother as a loser. He is not treated like a mooch and is given the same love and respect as the rest of the family.
The family employs Lurch and Thing to help with the household. These two are treated just like family members. They live in the home with everyone else and when (in the film The Addams Family) the family was thrown from their home, Lurch and Thing stayed to help the family get through hard times and come back together.
The Addams family is independently wealthy. Their wealth is never fully spelled out, but it is clearly obvious from the vault of gold in the cellar and the fact that no one has a job. You will notice that they never flaunt their riches. You don’t see them spending money on fancy cars or shopping sprees. They send their children to public school. Morticia does much of her own gardening and makes her own clothes. She likely makes the children clothes too. They have fancy possessions, but largely because they are family heirlooms, but because they go out and buy material goods. And I have not once seen them treat anyone as lower class because of their wealth.
Of course we have to remember that these are fictional people. No family will ever be perfect or eternally happy. That’s just not the way life works. There are also many different configurations of families, not just the average nuclear unit shown here. However, we can all still learn a few things about unconditional love, patience and acceptance from these characters.